Cause The World Is Ugly, But You're Beautiful To Me.

Certain events in my life are currently creating chaos and heartache which is actually quite normal for me. I feel like I am always having to go through something difficult. The day that my life is easy, will be the day that I am cold in my grave. But even then I almost guarantee that my funeral will be a disaster.

 

That being said, I chose this life. I volunteered for this. I decided before I was born that I wanted a hard life Why would I do that?? Well God knew I could handle it. I realize this sounds arrogant but I promise, I'm not bragging. The other night, I was sobbing on my bathroom floor, (don't ask why I was randomly on my bathroom floor because I haven't a clue.) I was so overwhelmed with life that all I could do was cry for an hour. When I finally had motivation to get back into bed, I decided to pray. Mind you, I don't usually pray. But I felt very inclined to. So I started. I told God that I was thankful for the trials he was giving me because I knew that they would help me become a better and stronger person. At this point, tears started pouring down my face again because I knew with my entire heart that I really and honestly was so grateful to have the opportunities that I was receiving, even though it meant terrible circumstances. It reminds me of what Ron Weasley said in the third book when he is trying to predict Harry's future in Divination, "Right, you've got a sort of wonky cross… That means you're going to have 'trials and suffering'—sorry about that—but there's a thing that could be the sun … hang on … that means 'great happiness' … so you're going to suffer but be very happy about it..." Its like JK Rowling knew my life. I wouldn't trade my trials for anything. I complain more than I should about them but truth is, I need them so I can become a better person and help others.

I have sat back and watched awful things happen to my friends and family these past couple of months. Cancer, suicide, drugs, discovering you entire life is a lie, it all happens for a reason. ALL of it. And yes, it does suck a big one but guess what? You CAN do it. You ARE strong. You ARE capable of coping with your trial. You WILL be ok. I have seen you all struggle and deal with horror admirably and such courage that it brings tears into my eyes and hope into my heart. Because in the end, good will prevail over evil. Centuries of conflict and tribulation has taught me that no matter how grim and bleak the situation looks, there will always be good. 

 

Those who know me, I have a great passion for Harry Potter. (Obviously because I have already quoted it multiple times. It has gotten me through the worst times of my life. I even listened to it in the hospital when I was recovering from my attack. It brings me to tears because JK Rowling speaks directly to my heart. And I know that Harry Potter is a children's book, but it has amazing lessons. I am going to share a few Albus Dumbledore quotes because he is a wise man. Imaginary, but genius. He said, “It is important to fight and fight again, and keep fighting, for only then can evil be kept at bay though never quite eradicated.” Evil will never cease. NEVER. The devil's only purpose for the rest of eternity is to bring everyone down and destroy the world. But we can't give in. We must keep going. We can not let wickedness take over. I can't even give you a good reason why good must be victorious, I just feel compelled to be the good the world needs. We must go through tough times because that is life. Please, don't give up. 

 

Professor Dumbledore also said, “It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities." He is right. Our attitude and how we handle situations is what really counts. I know it is hard to be happy and positive when life is going down hill real fast, but I assure you that it helps with coping and healing. We could choose to be miserable but when has that ever helped anyone? I am not saying that you can't be sad about whatever happened, but just don't solely dwell on your misfortunes and losses. Trials are good for us even if they are sucky and awful and makes us want to punch things in the face. What makes us great is resisting the urges to stoop to a lower level and rising against our hardships with grace and (excuse the language but it is the perfect word for it) badassery.

 

Now for one of the most popular HP quotes, “Happiness can be found in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.” Goodness can only be found if you look for it. There are times where all you want to do is wither away to nothing because you are so devastated and you don't want to do anything. And I have personally wondered, "Why is this happening? Why does God hate me??" But there are always multiple things I can learn from whatever is going on but I do have to put forth an effort to see what it is. God is there. He will always help you. He does not give us anything we can not handle. He gives us difficult times so that we can grow and be amazing. You are not alone.

 

 

Sorry being all over the place and about all the Potter quotes. I'm also sorry for all the religion talk. Actually no, I'm sorry not sorry about either. I like what I like! I want you all to know that I love each and every one of you. Even if I have never met you. And for the record, I am rooting for all of you to be happy and healthy and live a wonderful life. You deserve it.

 

Love, Mika.