Society’s Brains Are Not Connected With Their Mouths.

Recently I have picked up a babysitting gig for a friend of mine. I come over a few times a week and make sure the house doesn’t burn down and her child sleeps while she runs errands. This has given me roughly four hours every week to sit and do absolutely nothing. (Pinterest and a limited amount of data only get you so far.) I have decided to start blogging again for these hours!

Today’s topic that I have chosen is a little touchy for me. Lately I have been seeing the word “rape” being used in ‘comical’ situations. You have all seen this picture:

 

 

And possibly seen comments on YouTube saying, “I just raped the like button because I love this video so much,” or similar sentences saying they ‘raped’ the like button because they pushed it so many times. Or people commenting that they just ‘raped a burrito because it was so delicious.’

What? WHAT.

First off, how does this even make sense? You love something so much that you are going to assault it in one of the most personal ways you can? That doesn’t sound super offensive at all! (Note the extreme sarcasm people.) This makes you sound like an inconsiderate and pathetic pig who doesn’t give a damn about anyone’s feelings. If you love something/someone, you should protect and respect them, not use force to have them comply to your selfish needs.

My blog partner, Kaeli, told me to put something in here about people who say, “Oh they are so (insert term here.) They deserve to be raped.” Um EXCUSE ME. I don’t care how terrible or scantily clothed or mean and disgusting or unintelligent they are (according to anyone else's perception), why would you ever, ever, EVER, wish that upon someone? If I ever catch someone saying this, they better be prepared on getting the biggest and darkest black eye that has ever occurred in their life. This is unacceptable. She has caught a couple people who have said this and she was so mad that she couldn’t even begin to express it. She's had to defend people she shouldn't have had to defend, because no one "deserves it." I’m shocked at what some people consider appropriate to say. The fact is, no one deserves to be raped. Let me just say that one more time. In case you missed it! No one deserves it. Understood?

Rape is not funny. It is not a joke. It is not something to be discussed lightly. It is a serious and disgusting crime that happens to 1 out of 6 women, 1 out of 33 men and 15% of children. And that is just the reported stuff.  I have seen so much sexual assault in my life that I am probably more biased than I should be for a twenty three year old but I cannot convey to you how horrible sexual assault is. I have known friends who were assaulted by their dads or uncles or grandfathers for nine years or kids who are still in grade school and don’t know that what is happening is even wrong! Sometimes it takes years and years of therapy to help cope with it and even then, sometimes there are still times of panic or trouble with getting intimate with their partners.

There are others like myself who were going on a walk or run and it randomly happened to us out of the blue. Your whole life changes. I don’t particularly think of myself as a rape victim just because I was worried about other things like saving my own life so my mom wouldn’t be devastated. I am the exception to the normal though. Again, so much therapy and so many trust issues. Depression, anxiety and feeling worthless and violated all comes with it.

When people don’t think before they use the term ‘rape’ I get upset. It has been very disturbing to me lately how often its used. It is a very serious issue that thousands have gone through. We live in the age where cyber bullying and ‘pushing the social envelope’ is normal and younger generations have a thing for wanting to be radical and extreme. These same people feel bigger and braver from behind a screen and don’t see people on the internet as real human beings sometimes. Stop using the term. Find something more intelligent and think before you type and try to comprehend that what you say affects other people.

And on my last note here, if you are currently or ever become a victim of sexual assault (although I pray you don’t,) PLEASE GET HELP. PLEASE CALL LAW ENFORCEMENT. I cannot express this enough. I don’t care if it is a family member or a significant other. Leave their sorry ass and hightail it out of there. You do not deserve that. You are a beautiful and wonderful person and you have the right to say what happens to you. Don’t worry about it being messy with the family for holidays and birthdays. It will all work out in the end. It will suck for a while. Trust me. What you need to focus on is keeping yourself (and any children you may have) safe. If it is a random stranger, get a good description. I know it will be/was hard to concentrate when adrenaline kicks in and your life is in danger but try your best. Don’t shower after. Go straight to the police. They will have resources to help you. It is not your fault.

Please report. I know it’s hard but if it doesn’t get reported, it could happen again to someone else. The more you speak up the less they get away with! We need to help each other out! We are all here together so we might as well try to make the world better.

Sorry the post was a little rant-y and very long but I just felt really passionate about it. I hope whoever needed to hear this did. I am a little nervous about the comments on this one. Others may choose to post personal stories and I don’t want comments that are mean or put people down. Also know that internet trolls will be deleted and reported.

 

Love, Mika.