Monday, May 16, 2011

To The Girls

I've been thinking quite a bit lately, and I've realized I've got a lot to say. So here it goes, and PLEASE listen up. It's important.

I've got a feeling that no matter who you are, you have your moments when you feel like nothing. I want you all to know that everyone has those moments. Even that super-gorgeous model looking girl, the one you think couldn't possibly see one thing she doesn't like about herself, has those moments. I want you to stand in front of a mirror and look at yourself. With or without your make-up on, I want you to stand there and look at your reflection until you can see how beautiful you really are. No amount of make-up or new clothes or anything else that can alter your appearance will ever make you feel beautiful until you can look in the mirror and see how beautiful you are.

I want you to look in the mirror until you can honestly love what you see. I'm not saying you should be vain, or full of yourself, I think you should love yourself though. And I know that some of you are thinking that you can't just do that. It's not that easy. You're thinking "sure, maybe for that super-gorgeous model girl, it's easy, but not for me." And You're right, just a little bit right. It's not THAT easy when you've spent your life telling yourself you don't measure up, or listening to other people who tell you that you don't. But you have to change the way you think. I'm not telling you this because I think you should be optimistic just for the sake of being happy. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, WONDERFUL, WORTHWHILE GIRLS! And for some reason you just don't see it. So this is to the girls.

To the beautiful girls who look in the mirror and focus on all the little things that look wrong to them: NO ONE ELSE SEES THAT! Stop worrying that one side of your mouth is a little higher when you smile or that it's a little crooked. Stop worrying about that tiny little freckle that you think ruins your complexion. Stop wishing your nose was shaped any different and that your eyes were shaped different or whatever else it is that you are picking yourself apart for. NO ONE ELSE NOTICES THOSE THINGS, they are all too busy seeing all the beautiful things about you.

To the girls that refuse to believe how beautiful they are, even when everyone tells them: START BELIEVING IT! I know, it's hard, but just do it. It's all a process of what you tell yourself. Trust me ALL of your friends aren't lying to you to make you feel better. Learn to accept the compliments, believe them.

To the girls who listened to that one pretty girl who told you, you weren't pretty enough: STOP BELIEVING IT! Girls are vicious and mean sometimes. Seems to me like we're all a little insecure and some girls handle it by putting others down. Don't let it get to you. You are the only person in the world who gets to decide how beautiful you are and I want you to decide right now that you are every bit as beautiful as everything you want to be.

To the girls who don't feel beautiful because no one tells them: Chances are, we think you already know, or we're just flat out intimidated by you. I know, it sucks, but I promise it's pretty likely. Start giving compliments to other people. HONEST compliments. It will help, I promise.

To the girls who have said something mean, something that they didn't even mean, just to feel better: SHAME ON YOU! And if you can, fess up, you've probably done more damage than you think and it just might help undo it. You know how it feels and why on earth would you want to do that to someone else? Watch what you say. We forgive you, now don't do it again. Girls remember stuff like that. Forever. Let's be nicer to each other, we don't want to contribute to this world's way of telling us we're not ever good enough.

Basically to all the girls, just stop comparing yourself to other people stop wishing you were prettier. You will never feel prettier until you can see how pretty you already are.

And remember, no one is perfect. Be patient with yourself, you will always have moments when you try to tell yourself you aren't beautiful, you aren't good enough. It's natural. But that is not important. What IS important is the next moment when you stop all those things, and you look in that mirror or you look inside yourself and you refuse to stop looking until you see how beautiful you are.

I'm fed up with how hurt girls are, how insecure they are about themselves. We don't have to be. It's a choice. And I honestly believe that having a beautiful personality makes you more beautiful. Literally. You think it doesn't. You think that "Beauty comes from within" Is a cliche statement and that nobody really means it, but it's true. It's not just a nice fairytale thought. If you want to feel beautiful you have to be beautiful on the inside. You have to believe your beautiful too. Beauty is really more about what we feel than how we look anyway. If you feel beautiful, you don't worry about how you look because you already feel great.

And lastly, perfection isn't beauty. Perfection isn't real. One of my close friends, a girl who I have always thought was very beautiful mentioned one day that when she watches T.V. she constantly has to remind herself "That's not real." Sure you are looking at real people. And yes, they really are beautiful. But what you are being presented is not real. They have heaps of make-up and hair extensions and then airbrushing and perfect lighting and all kinds of things to make them look perfect in that moment. BUT IT'S NOT REAL. So stop trying to be that. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.

I love you all and I wish more than anything there was a way that I could help you all to see just how perfectly beautiful you are, but I can't do that. Only you can. So show yourself. Make yourself see. Do it now. Decide, and do it because you, and only you, can. And you deserve to.

-Kaeli Chae Madsen

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